Because with every step of every run I have to talk myself out of quitting. I have to set these itty bitty little goals just to stop myself from throwing in the towel… every run. Like, “I’ll just keep running for 10 more minutes and then see if I want to keep going” or “I’ll make it up this hill to that tree and then decide if I should continue” and 9.5 times out of 10 I keep going, I don’t give up, I finish my 40 minutes on the treadmill, or the 4 mile loop around my neighbourhood and it always feels so great to have met my teeny tiny goal.
I ran. I negotiated with myself. I conquered.
Sunday I decide I need to get another outside run in as Mondays-Thursdays are almost impossible to do anything except run on the treadmill, as I have childcare issues. Fresh off my “hey that was easier than I thought” Friday run I decide to run a similar course but for 3 miles only, so as not to over-do it. The first mile stunk, as did the second and the 3rd didn’t get any easier. I wasn’t sore or having cardiovascular trouble- I just couldn’t find my rhythm- My legs felt like lead- I was not having fun. I had borrowed son #2’s ipod- thinking that it might be fun to run with music, and maybe that is what threw me off because (and maybe it’s because I’m not used to his ipod or his music) it just proved to be a big distraction.
I truly didn’t expect every run to be a glorious,inspirational, life changing event I just didn’t think the rotten run would rear it’s ugly head so early in my training. Oh boy, and I know there are more to come.
I was tempted to make this a “rest” day but made it to the gym in time to get the little ones in childcare and do 20 mins “fartlek” training (fartlek=speed training, even though my “speed” can hardly be called “speedy”) on the treadmill, some weights and I forced myself to do at least twice as much stretching than the 30 seconds I usually do, as I can only wonder if my lack of dedication in the stretching department contributed to my legs feeling like they were made of lead.
Tomorrow I am off to buy a much needed pair of running shoes- I’m sure that will add a bit of spice to training! Who can resist a run in new shoes?!
Really, I think the hardest part of this training is going to be carving out the time to get the runs in. It is very complicated having to organize 7 other people (yes, I am including the other adult in the household as he needs much organizing!) Yesterday went something like this…
I was so worried about blowing my day with daycare that I had tried to plan and re-plan the day over and over- but as all Mothers know a plan is good but flexibility is even better when you are dealing with children and trying to get them out the door.
Woke up 5:15- after another crappy night with the baby (he wakes at least 4-5 times every night) had a coffee- and then start pancakes for the gang. It was a good day as I only had to make 3 lunches- as middle 2 are getting hot lunch every other Friday and I decide to give oldest 2 $5 each to buy lunch (as a treat… to myself)
My goal is to be leaving the house by 8- and I’m pretty much there despite having to fish baby out of the toilet (he’s obsessed with spashing aroung in the toilet, and who left the bathroom door open anyway!?) and packing everything that everone will need for the day including my running gear as I am to attend Mass at 9 am because the grade 5’s are in charge of it so I should be in attendance. Everything is running smoothly (ish) until it’s show time… I’m free- my plan was to change in the van and head out from where I’m parked near the kid’s school… but wait, I gotta pee… hmmmm… no problem- I’ll drive to the nearby community centre pee and change there, so away I go- I pull into the parking lot jump out of the van, grab my bag just to discover, I only have 1 shoe with me… AARRGGHH! Back into the van I go, drive home and I’m FINALLY running by 10:15.
The 4 miles, by the way were pretty uneventful. I had had hopes of running down to the beach from the kids school but as it turns out my run through my neighborhood and then up and around Queen Elizabeth Park was quite lovely thank you, and not nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. There were a few teeny tiny walls hit where, if I were feeling particularly pathetic I might have said “Aw, screw it” but all in all it felt great and I even had a bit of a sprint in the final 2 minutes (well at least it felt like I was sprinting!) And heck, so much planning and organizing went into getting out there that I truly would have been pathetic had I given up!
Today was rest day but the plan is to get another outdoor run in tomorrow as I have a small window of opportunity in the afternoon after hockey, church, and my parents coming for dinner, where there is someone home to watch the kids while I get out for a run.
One of the things I have been reading over and over again is the need to have “rest days” when you are training. This, believe it or not is really difficult when one is still pumped and full of vim and vinegar from the excitement of deciding to run a marathon. All you want to do is get that run in… Today I am trying to “rest”. I did do a 30 minutes brisk walk with the baby in the stroller but that doesn’t count… I simply needed to move my body. Tomorrow is exciting because I have a long run planned. By long run I mean 4 whole miles. I have daycare set up for the little ones. The whole daycare thing was for me to get it together to find a part time job. I only have 1 day a week (Fridays) booked but of course all I can think about is I can get a long run in without having to work around hockey, rugby, choir practice, dance class or a birthday party! Get the 2 oldest out the door at 7:30, drop the 2 youngest off at daycare at 8:00 take the 2 middle ones to school for 8:30- and BAM! I’m running 4 miles!
You know what they say about the best laid plans…
And I’m sure I can find time to do some job hunting after the run!
Because I was never athletic as a kid and was chubby until adulthood… but somehow when I run I feel like;
I’ve started telling people that I’m running a marathon and I have to tell you that I feel like somewhat of a fraud… because I always get the same ” Oh my god, I’m so impressed!” reaction and really there’s not much to be impressed about…..yet. The longest distance I’ve run in my while life is 10K (about 7 miles) 3 times. The longest distance I’ve run in the past 6 months is 3 miles. So truly there is not much to be impressed about except that I am foolish enough to sign on (and pay $85!) to do such a thing. I have my moments when I think “what the hell have I gotten myself into?” But I think I am still in the ” Honeymoon stage” of my training because I’m still feeling pumped and optimistic!