I received these two postcards from my 93-year-old dad this week, one for St Patrick’s Day- on which he had written “Enjoy St Paddy Day Regards Dad”(sic) and the other for my birthday (that is still a little over a week away) reading “Have a Good Day Love-Dad”. Finding these in my mailbox was such an unexpected but beautiful surprise. My Dad never wrote cards or bought gifts—that was my Mum’s job. And when she became unable to manage the gift buying and card distribution because of her descent into dementia he didn’t step up or into the role of gift buyer or card sender (even though he has a very sharp memory and remembers everyone’s birthday). Rather, he has been in the habit of reminding me as every single birthday or holiday was approaching “don’t expect anything- I don’t do gifts or cards!” At Christmas he still gets a solid pile of cards from friends and family and when I go out there for a visit I always take the opportunity to read through them all commenting on how nice they are, but his response has always been “well I hope they don’t expect anything in return!” So, you can imagine my delight in seeing these two cards with his shaky block letter handwriting on them.
What comes up for me is the reminder that we can permit ourselves to change- to step into roles we had previously written off for ourselves. I hold ‘growth’ as one of my core values– and that notion can mean SO many things- big and small– but, I am certainly inspired by my dad’s “growth spurt” – sending these cards for the first time at 93 years of age.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” —George Eliot, novelist
Dr. Mamalegato 