4 days and a 40,000 word PhD thesis to write… Totally do-able right??
Of course, I am not starting from scratch- I’ve got about 30,000 words in a very messy, chaotic mess of a draft… I’m hoping being here (looks pretty ideal, right?) Will just push me over the “get this sucker done” huge wall that seems to be standing in my way.
Wish me luck.
Here’s a little in the spirit of “sometimes it IS worth it” or it gets better…” or “keep going even if you think your research is rubbish”.
My very first published article won the Voice and Speech Review Forum Article of the Year Award.
I was absolutely floored that I had won. Countless times over the past few years I had considered scrapping all the work I had done because I thought it was garbage.
The first time I presented my research on this topic, was in the Fall of 2015 at a conference in Brussels and the guest moderator completely panned my research in front of a packed room. He was going through the preceding presentations giving favourable comments on everyone’s research, except, when he got to me he said: “And I don’t even know what that was about…method acting or something??” I was, of course, crushed, and decided to toss it right then and there.
But I couldn’t do it, I had put too much time into it, (and frankly didn’t have anything else!) so I continued. The following summer I presented a paper on my subsequent research, (on the same topic) at another conference to a very small audience and was approached by an editor from the VSR to develop the paper into an article, which I did. It took 14 months and 7 drafts from my initial submission to the published article. and being a newbie to the world of working with an editor had to wrestle with myself, and my tendency to take the edits personally. She was terrific and kind, but firm. I learned so much. I really felt like I had accomplished “something”, and I guess I had.
Hoping this may help anyone who may be in that “my research is rubbish” place. Keep going! It’s worth it.
Now if I could only get this PhD thesis finished…
OK- so I am not really sure that “the sh*t just got real” thing works in this context– I just really wanted an excuse to say that.
But, if it means that I need to really get my rear in gear– or my submission date is looming (September 29!!!) and I still do not have a full first draft… then yeah, sh*t just got real! (I tried typing it without the asterisk but couldn’t bring myself to leave it like that– I’ve got me some scruples, or I’m just an ol’ fuddy-duddy academic desperately grasping, and failing, to come off as edgy).
Because of my very full teaching schedule, today is the first day in months that I actually have the day (full work day) to write/work and of course, with that kind of freedom comes some trepidation– now I really have to do something. I am trying to go in with beginners mind— really just being present to what I am writing now and trying to not get ahead of myself or panic about all the work I haven’t done yet.
I am coupling that with a plan– mapping out what needs to be done. Got the white board wiped clean, new calendar pages ready to be filled in.
I am walking into the white room à la Twyla Tharp, ready to work, with a plan but open to surprises. And by surprises, I mean brilliant strokes of genius! Divine inspiration!
It’s real. 163 days… and counting. Let’s get this sh*t done!!!
Sooooo… have any other doctoral researchers out there resorted to obsessively reading their horoscope in an effort to figure out what the hell they are supposed to be doing and how the H-E-double-hockey-sticks one is supposed to do this???
Yeah, me neither, I was asking for a friend… We are serious academics people!!!
But just in case you are THAT desperate, I recommend the amazing Chani Nicholas.
Here is a little of what she had to say about be (an Aries) this week;
“With your ruling planet, Mars, having just stationed retrograde in your 9th house of spiritual experiences, long distance travels, learning and teaching, this week has extra poignancy for you.”
“The full moon in Scorpio on Thursday will light up the part of your chart that highlights what you have to share with others and what you need from them.”
Pretty pertinent stuff for a PhD student wouldn’t you say? (Please say…something…anything?!)
I belong to a Facebook group for PhD and Early Career Researcher Parents- where, we share the challenges of parenting while trying to navigate academia and just recently one of the members posted a photo of some adorable but labour intensive looking Easter themed cupcakes proclaiming herself to be a procrastibaker- I can SO relate, and while I certainly would call myself a procrasibaker in the most obvious sense of the word- I bake to avoid the mounds of writing and researching I should be attending to… I realized today, it goes much deeper than that. It hit me this afternoon as I got up from my desk after a particularly dismal day of fiddle-farting around and successfully avoiding the abstract that needs writing, the three separate student assignments that need marking and the script (for a show that goes up in 2 months) that needs re-writing- that my motivation for baking (or procrasti-baking) comes from two places; love and guilt. Love because I know the kids truly love walking in the door and racing up the stairs calling out their best guesses as to what the wafting baking smell is (“Chocolate chip cookies?” “Banana muffins… I knew it!”) And guilt for all the time I have spent away missing birthdays, school concerts, or just being there when they come in the door after school. Somehow- a warm muffin or chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven make ME feel like I am being some kind of good Mom and while neither makes up for time away- I feel like I’m doing just a little something special- while weaselling my way out of reading those 27 student essays… care for a muffin?!