This is 55.

Yesterday was my birthday. April 1. (A new moon!) I am happy….

I am happy despite.

Despite the fact that my ol’man and more than half my kids are not here in the same city as me.

Despite the guilt I feel over being far away from my elderly parents.

Despite the sadness I feel over the strife in our extended family—fractured by conflicting ideologies and resentment.

Despite the bills, and the never-ending financial juggle

Despite the heart-wrenching doom-scroll-inducing news that leaves me feeling helpless.

Despite all that.

I love that I can be content just sitting on the couch with my dog.

I love the light in this house, the books piled up on my coffee table, the cat’s assortment of cardboard boxes, my plants. Coffee.

I love that I am figuring out (after 55 years) that happiness doesn’t have to be and/or.

I can be happy, despite.

It is, in fact, OKAY to be happy despite,

That complicated and content can sit side-by-side.

This is 55.

Published by mamalegato

Mama to six kids, theatre artist, doctoral researcher, voice teacher... slow and steady wins the race....

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