This is 55.
Yesterday was my birthday. April 1. (A new moon!) I am happy….
I am happy despite.
Despite the fact that my ol’man and more than half my kids are not here in the same city as me.
Despite the guilt I feel over being far away from my elderly parents.
Despite the sadness I feel over the strife in our extended family—fractured by conflicting ideologies and resentment.
Despite the bills, and the never-ending financial juggle
Despite the heart-wrenching doom-scroll-inducing news that leaves me feeling helpless.
Despite all that.
I love that I can be content just sitting on the couch with my dog.
I love the light in this house, the books piled up on my coffee table, the cat’s assortment of cardboard boxes, my plants. Coffee.
I love that I am figuring out (after 55 years) that happiness doesn’t have to be and/or.
I can be happy, despite.
It is, in fact, OKAY to be happy despite,
That complicated and content can sit side-by-side.
This is 55.
Dr. Mamalegato 