And the winner is…

Here’s a little in the spirit of “sometimes it IS worth it” or it gets better…” or “keep going even if you think your research is rubbish”.
My very first published article won the Voice and Speech Review Forum Article of the Year Award.
I was absolutely floored that I had won. Countless times over the past few years I had considered scrapping all the work I had done because I thought it was garbage.
The first time I presented my research on this topic, was in the Fall of 2015 at a conference in Brussels and the guest moderator completely panned my research in front of a packed room. He was going through the preceding presentations giving favourable comments on everyone’s research, except, when he got to me he said: “And I don’t even know what that was about…method acting or something??” I was, of course, crushed, and decided to toss it right then and there.
But I couldn’t do it, I had put too much time into it, (and frankly didn’t have anything else!) so I continued. The following summer I presented a paper on my subsequent research, (on the same topic) at another conference to a very small audience and was approached by an editor from the VSR to develop the paper into an article, which I did. It took 14 months and 7 drafts from my initial submission to the published article. and being a newbie to the world of working with an editor had to wrestle with myself, and my tendency to take the edits personally. She was terrific and kind, but firm. I learned so much. I really felt like I had accomplished “something”, and I guess I had.

Hoping this may help anyone who may be in that “my research is rubbish” place. Keep going! It’s worth it.

Now if I could only get this PhD thesis finished…

 

2016 Forum Award Certificate-1

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making the familiar strange – two book recommendations

I find that I am continuously needing to remind myself that what I am doing as a researcher is creative work. It sounds utterly ridiculous– seeing as I am doing a Practice-As-Research PhD– but the hours of reading and writing sometimes send me into a square academic hole that I have trouble getting myself out of. This blog post and Lynda Barry’s video at the end was just the reminder I needed to really explore and simply notice.

patter

Today, as this post publishes, I’m giving a talk to postgraduate researchers. One of the things I will talk about is why it’s important for all researchers to practice seeing things differently.

We already have ways of describing this imperative in research literatures. We talk about reflexivity. We talk about criticality. We talk about challenging our taken for granted assumptions. We talk about making the familiar strange.

We stress the need for seeing differently because it is integral to the creation of knowledge. If we are to make step changes in our understandings, then we can’t just reproduce and replicate our existing lines of thought.

I can’t imagine a research methods courses which doesn’t talk about ‘de-familiarisation’ as a necessary practice. However, we generally don’t spend a lot of time on discussing what this means, beyond keeping a researcher journal, or interrogating some of the language and definitions that we…

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Sh*t just got real…

OK- so I am not really sure that “the sh*t just got real” thing works in this context– I just really wanted an excuse to say that.

But, if it means that I need to really get my rear in gear– or my submission date is looming (September 29!!!) and I still do not have a full first draft… then yeah, sh*t just got real! (I tried typing it without the asterisk but couldn’t bring myself to leave it like that– I’ve got me some scruples, or I’m just an ol’ fuddy-duddy academic desperately grasping, and failing, to come off as edgy).

Because of my very full teaching schedule, today is the first day in months that I actually have the day (full work day) to write/work and of course, with that kind of freedom comes some trepidation– now I really have to do something. I am trying to go in with beginners mind— really just being present to what I am writing now and trying to not get ahead of myself or panic about all the work I haven’t done yet.

I am coupling that with a plan– mapping out what needs to be done. Got the white board wiped clean, new calendar pages ready to be filled in.

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I am walking into the white room  à la Twyla Tharp, ready to work, with a plan but open to surprises. And by surprises, I mean brilliant strokes of genius! Divine inspiration!

It’s real. 163 days… and counting. Let’s get this sh*t done!!!

#academicgoals

Everyday I wake up with the intension of having this kind of day– one where I am “learning at the edge of what I already know”– I needed this, need these kind of goals working to have more days with “sustained flowing, thinking and writing/talking over time”– except in my PhD work I am alone much of the time so much of the talking with have to be to myself!

What is a good academic day? What happens to make you go home/leave the office and say to your partner or cat/dog/budgie – I had such a good day today. I’ve come to the rather obvious conclusion that my good academic day is one where I actually get to do “proper scholarship”. My good day […]

via a ‘good academic day’ — patter

reasons to write

I get all caught up in my “habitual self”– which helps me get what I need to get done to actually sit down at my desk, but I was failing to see that I need to break free from this “habitual self” once I’ve sat done… Hmmmm….

patter

I’ve been dipping in and out of a rather pleasurable book about writing. Most people read books about writing for utilitarian reasons – to find a new technique, to see something that might inform their own work, to seek explanations for particular conventions. And so on.There’s absolutely nothing wrong with these kinds of informative writing books – I write them myself so I’m quite glad people want to read them. And I buy and read other people’s informative writing books so that I can add to what I know, and perhaps challenge some of the ways I think about things.

But Idoread books about writing for the sheer pleasure of it. SomeI buy for no other reason than I like to be provoked, tantalised, intrigued, or amused by someone’s writing about writing.I’m currently finishing off a book about writing by Mark Edmundson. It’s called Why write? A master class on…

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Mother Goose

Mama GooseThis year-  I am home for Mother’s Day- but I leave for another PhD trip in just a couple of weeks… this time I will be gone three weeks, total. I have to fly out on my daughter’s birthday and I will miss my youngest son’s birthday. It is always something. I work hard to schedule around school concerts, graduations, First Communions, but with six kids I miss something “important”  on every trip. It doesn’t get easier being away, in fact I would say it gets harder with every time I get on a plane. Sure, I am more organized, and maybe even the household runs much more smoothly when I am away now, compared to when I started three years ago. They’ve got it figured out, but the missing them all like crazy? I don’t think I will ever figure that out.

Here’s a little something I wrote when I was away last year;
As much as I tried to talk myself into believing that this was just going to be another day, I woke up feeling very aware that it is, (at home, not here) Mother’s Day, and that being 7,500 kms away from my own mum and 5,000 kms away from my kids, stinks. People often say things to me like, “Six kids! You must get spoiled rotten on Mother’s day!” but we’ve always happily rejected the “send Mom to the spa for the day” or “lavish Mom with jewelry” type of celebration. At our house it is always low key, and always includes things like, sweetly made crepe paper tulips or a carefully cut out construction paper card in the shape of a tea pot with a real tea bag tapped inside, sometimes there are flowers, and there is always a special meal (cooked by me, because, not to toot my own horn, but I am the best cook in the house), shared around the table with my old man on one end, me on the other, three of them to the right of me and three to my left. But today, not to sound like too much of a Debbie-downer, there will be none of that. As I sat having my coffee in front of the “telly” this morning contemplating that maybe I “deserved” a little “me time” and rolling up into a ball on the couch to watch a marathon of British gardening shows, seemed, momentarily, like a really good plan, I knew, in order to nip this pity party in the bud I needed to get up and get moving, or else, my whole reason, for being so far away from my family would all be for naught. I decided to go for a run along Birmingham’s Canal to clear my head and get my academic mojo flowing. 
A few minutes into my run, and what do I see swimming right alongside me the edge of the water? A Canadian Goose with her six sweet and fluffy goslings swimming behind her! (I am not making this up!) So, somehow in my fragile emotional state, I thought it would be a good idea to lean in for a closer look, thinking she too would be excited to see ME, a fellow Canadian and Mother! We would smile knowingly at one another, maybe share a few Mama-Goose comments like, “you’ve got your hands full!” or “enjoy, in blink of an eye they will be all grown up” but instead, she gave me one of those violent, demonic “back off crazy lady!” hisses and hurried her chicks away from me.
I get it. I was a new Mom once too, and let me tell you, Goosey-Goosey Gander, you will loosen up and you will relax. With #1 I was reluctant to let anyone near him, let alone touch him, and by #6 I was pretty much tossing him at everyone and anyone who I thought may be able to complete the pass just so I could have a few minutes of peace. 
But today, as I turned to continue trudging along the canal I realized that for this Mother Goose, there nothing I wouldn’t do today to hang on to each and every one of my fluffy little goslings just a little longer. 
Happy Mother’s Day.

Woo-Woo-PhD-ing

aries200

 

Sooooo… have any other doctoral researchers out there resorted to obsessively reading their horoscope in an effort to figure out what the hell they are supposed to be doing and how the H-E-double-hockey-sticks one is supposed to do this???

Yeah, me neither, I was asking for a friend… We are serious academics people!!!

But just in case you are THAT desperate, I recommend the amazing Chani Nicholas.

Here is a little of what she had to say about be (an Aries) this week;

“With your ruling planet, Mars, having just stationed retrograde in your 9th house of spiritual experiences, long distance travels, learning and teaching, this week has extra poignancy for you.”

And…

“The full moon in Scorpio on Thursday will light up the part of your chart that highlights what you have to share with others and what you need from them.”

Pretty pertinent stuff for a PhD student wouldn’t you say? (Please say…something…anything?!)