There was one of those Facebook posts going around not too long ago that said something like this; “Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” (I later found out the quote is attributed to author Robert Brault) And at the time I took it in with a grain of salt as I do any words of wisdom imparted on social media- but I reminded myself of those words last week as I lay in a crumpled heap on the floor of my yoga class, whispering to the teacher “I’m OK!” after hearing something go “pop” in the general area of my left hip and bullock and my leg just kind of giving out. I lay there trying to get myself together with tears of self pity running down my face- not so much for the pain but because I was immediately mad for this happening and at myself for having the thought “Man, I am on an exercise toll!” just before the class started.
I basically spent the last week feeling poopy. Limping, when I tried to walk but in more pain when I was sitting to long. So really, pretty useless.
I have been feeling frustrated, bummed out, irritated and restless, and none of it has felt like a cha-cha.
Things began to change when I read this story a
bout Harriet Thompson, the 92 year old American woman who just ran her sixteenth marathon and broke the world’s record for being the oldest woman to do so. I am a bit obsessed with stories about awesome old women, I am constantly on the look out for stories like Harriette’s and I find myself studying them in the hopes of being able to figure out what their secrets are for being so fabulous for so long! The thing that pretty much rings true with all the women I have read about is an optimistic outlook, that and perseverance. And with that revelation I cued the band to play a cha-cha and lead myself to the dance floor.
I finally went to see an osteopath today (for the first time) and I am feeling considerably better already. I won’t be running today, and maybe not even tomorrow, but I am pretty determined to be running when I am 92.
I finally got out for a run. I have been here, in Birmingham UK (3000+ miles from home) for 5 days now and after a whole lot of pep- talking (me to myself) I did it and it was glorious. I had been thinking about getting out there A LOT- but was having all the regular anxiety I often have in new situations, and have been talking myself out of it. You would think that at my age (48) and with the kind of experience I have in travelling (7 trips to Europe alone in the last 2 years) I would be pretty laissez faire when it comes to making myself at home in a new city and surroundings- but in fact, I have an awful time with really settling in. Part of it is the loneliness/homesickness/nostalgia that I wrote about yesterday and part of it, I think, is just my totally awkward social nature. Yes, me, who as a teacher, performer, and Mother of six has to deal with other humans almost constantly, actually has a medium to high level of anxiety of dealing with other people and in particular strangers. But even more importantly, I hate looking like I don’t belong somewhere. This is why I love David Sedaris so much because he says so many things, about feeling awkward, especially in foreign cities, that I feel. He did a great interview NPR’s This American Life on his experiences in Paris that I relate to so well.
So! In the case of me procrastinating going out for a run, it was really nothing to do with me just being lazy and everything to do with feeling discombobulated in a new city, For example, because I am staying right in the city centre, I was nervous about running aimlessly through the busy streets and having to worry about traffic (I CANNOT get used to the whole cars on the wrong side of the road here and literally have to speak out loud to myself every time I cross the road saying “look the opposite way!”). So I did what any good PhD student would do and I researched it. I studied maps and then went for a test “walk” yesterday.
And this morning I went for it and headed out. (I carefully chose this morning as it is a bank holiday here and hardly any traffic). And it was, as I said glorious. In less than 10 minutes I was on the Birmingham Canals. And it was absolutely gorgeous in all the most cliché ways. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and after I finished chastising myself for being so utterly ridiculous in buying into my silly anxieties, I plodded along in the most satisfied way.
I really think I need a different hobby… This running thing is KILLING me, which is kind of strange since I have been running very little lately. I’ve been THINKING about running a great deal and driving myself insane…
I need to figure out this IT band thing, and I need to figure out a cross training activity that I can fall in love with and commit to. I feel drawn to yoga, I did a few classes of Mike Dennison’s Runners Yoga which I liked very much- but as with everything in my crazy life, so much of it has to do with fitting it in to my (or the kids) crazy schedule. I know a regular yoga practice would probably do wonders for my aches and pains, it’s just a matter of doing it- I am setting my sights on next week. Next week everything will change.
I was quite excited about this week- it was the first week since my work term had ended and I had BIG plans, that included running, yoga classes and working on my Grad school application… but then sick kids and school professional days happened and I have got NOTHING done.
I need to regroup, refocus and face the truth. I will not be able to run the half next week. there is an 8k race I will have to do that. I just bought myself a very expensive race t-shirt. boo.
My IT band is sore all the time, not just when I run. I have pins and needles running down my leg constantly. Not good. I want to fix it. I want to run another marathon.
I miss running- I really don’t feel “right” when I’m not running on a regular basis- I’ve got to get back there somehow.
A very brief update…
Had a couple of great weeks… feeling strong and goin’ long… but in the last week life’s been CR-azy and I am really just trying hard to maintain- Getting out for a few 5ks and a 8 if I’m lucky.
I even “snuck” in a run today… literally… so much to do and on top of it, the ol’ man gives me much grief about being so selfish as to run when there are things to be done- he really doesn’t get the “I function so much better when I exercise” thing- so I just got back from a run that he doesn’t have to know about ’cause he’s not here!!!
I just gotta get through the next couple of weeks- fight to maintain and then worry about the rest later.
I’m back baby!!
In the past 2 weeks I have gotten into a bit of a training groove. It hasn’t been all rosy 100% of the time- it is a process- I’m taking it day by day- but I’m happy to report that I had a “4 runs” week and then a “3 runs” week and I started out this week with 10k yesterday and a swim this morning. Giddy up!
Things that are working;
1. Prioritizing. Which means- go for a run and leave the dishes if the kids are at daycare and school and/or the ol’man is in a good mood and will “babysit” (whatever?!) It also mean realizing I am FAR more efficient after I exercise- I have, in the last 2 weeks been back to a running schedule AND gotten back on my feet with a course I am taking. Coincidence? I think not.
2. Run every other day. My knee/IT band does not like to be called into action 2 days in a row. Cross training will be key and something I will have to push myself to do.
3. Do not panic if I cannot shower after a run. Getting the run in is priority- there are ways to freshen up without a shower, and with my schedule there are some times where I cannot do both. Big deal. But please feel free to let me know if I stink. Really.
4. I have just re-discovered the joy of on-line grocery shopping (SPUD.CA) As the working and running Mum of 6 I gotta say I love it! If you are interested in trying it use the code CRVAN-HOLSHC and each of us will get a $25 discount. They even have a huge recipe section where they show you the recipe and you can put the ingredients right into your cart for checkout. Pricewise they show you comparisons with major grocery chains and they are they same and/or slightly lower than the competitors AND if you have a standing order you get 5% off AND 20% off many bulk orders.
5. Signing up for a race gives me the motivation to get my butt out and running. I knew that about myself- so what took me so long?
What’s not working;
1. Need to stretch more need to stretch more need to stretch more…
2. Strengthening exercises… do them!!!!
3. Drink water- seems like a no brainer- but uh, apparently I have a HUGE brain.
All in all- things are looking up- Mamalegato is running and all’s well… until the kids get home and I haven’t done the dishes ’cause I was running.
I miss running. I miss running a lot. Lately as I been driving like a crazy woman to work and back, picking up and dropping off children, I will pass places that I used to run when I was training for the marathon. It is the “far away” places that get to me the most. I see them and I can remember how I was feeling. Pacific Spirit Park across form #’s 1 and 2’s school, The MacD’s in Kerrisdale that became a regular bathroom stop on long runs, the intersection of West 33rd and Granville…crossing Granville always made me feel like I was truly doing a long run.
I am too busy to run right now. I usually make an argument about this, knowing that I must always give myself that push to just make time- but I have less than no time… I’m fighting to stay a float here. Just a sampling of what is going on; I’m working 2 days (plus 1 short morning) a week, I am WAY behind in this for-credit university course that I am taking and trying desperately to catch up, we are full on in reno-hell here . Our downstairs is unusable, everything is jammed into the upstairs, there is dust and debris everywhere with a constant parade of trade guys coming through the house, and the ol’man goes to work and then comes home to work on the house which means that I have to do all the extra-curricular activities on my own, these include for this week 9 hockey times (games and practices) 2 piano lessons, 1 choir rehearsal, 1 1st Communion class, 1 Confirmation Class and 2 dance classes. I have not gone to bed before Midnight and I have gotten out of bed at 5:30 everyday. And then there’s the homework, (mine and their’s )and lunches and cooking for 8 people everyday. Oh yeah, and I’m taking the boys to U2 tonight and I have tickets to see David Sedaris Sunday. STOP THE MADNESS!!
I am really not complaining per say, it is more like I am trying to let myself off the hook for not getting out there to pound the pavement, because I do, for whatever reason feel a tad “guilty” for not running.
But mostly I just miss it. My body misses it. I just don’t feel right.
October 31st marks the anniversary of my Marathon journey. I cannot believe it was a year ago that I started this whole thing. In the back of my head I have a plan that would see me, on Nov 1st, starting it all over again. That is what I would like to do, I would however also like a nap. We’ll play it by ear.
It’s official, I’m calling it, I am in a running slump… although it’s unclear as to whether I ever really hit my stride or got into any real groove after the marathon (2 months ago now- ooooo I’d hadn’t really thought about it being 2 months- a long time non?) I have just not been able to find my mojo, for lack of a better term. There have been many circumstances contributing to this lack of running enthusiasm and quite frankly I have felt quite motivated mentally much of the time but have just had so physical issues and family issues standing in my way. Having said that, I’ve always kind of made it my policy not to put the blame on anything except myself when it come to getting things done. I find taking full responsibility and “owning” my responsibilities (whether they be to others or to myself) is the only way to get things done. Set some goals, and reach them- how you get there is your own business but it has to get done or what’s the point in setting a goal?
So I won’t whine about these antibiotics that are just wiping me of my energy, this unexplained knot in my lower back, these children that are home for summer vacation and need constant supervision/entertaining or my big toe which is bandaged and throbbing and which I can’t put any weight on after I stepped on a %&*@$ nail sticking out of the floor last night, because I don’t believe in excuses or whining, I believe in getting the job done.